Last year I turned 30. To be honest I had goals I wanted at 30 as a woman, I wanted to settle down. I planned and worked towards it like that Character in baggage. Being 30 without the ring was like a dread to me. The pressure inside and out was real. Honestly I have not even reflected which one pulled me more. Enough of living other people’s expectations enough of being hard on myself. I want to savor every taste of life. Even if I was going to be in a relationship I was going to love myself first. I was going to be in a loving relationship with myself so I would glow inside out. love isn’t “Telemundo”. My family was asking me “how far” I was like me and “john” was over. My mum was like Eva I hope it isn’t your impatience again and your temper(whenever there is a breakup at that almost thirty age, the fault is perceived to be from the woman). I just told her I wanted to exhale and live. I am 31 now still single and very happy.
I wished I had this wisdom in my 20s of not having to please someone at the expense of your happiness but Im grateful for the wisdom that came through pain. Being single Nigerian woman at 30 is not easy particularly if your younger ones have settled down. family may begin to look at you as if you have a spiritual problem #familylove.
August came this year and I reminisced on my 30th the year before. God gave me a lovely present. I spent my birthday on my father’s death bed. I am grateful for that. I am not based with my family but that year because of my father’s ill health everyone came home. so my third decade on Earth was spent with the family. When I was a kid, on my birthdays, my dad would package a birthday gift. It would be the first thing I see when I wake in the morning with birthday song blasting on the record in the palor. I am the only child he did that for. As I grew up so did the gift start diminishing to just happy birthday but last year, he did not even remember, that was when I knew that all wasn’t really well. I still kept my hope alive. He left this Earth three months later, peacefully. #Restinpeace .
Here are the few things I have learnt in my first year of my 30s
Life is as simple as you make it to be. It starts with your mindset.
I don’t owe anyone explanation. It is God I owe that so I live so that I will be able to answer him without fear.
I am more confident in my own skin now than in my last decade.
Nothing is impossible if I believe: this became more real to me this morning. I had always being saying it as per quoting the scripture but today the word became alive in me.
Everyday is a chance to start something or make things better.
Never ever give up no matter what if you know in your heart that it is worth it from the beginning
Once your intuition tells you not to do something, don’t bother doing it: I have many regrets not following this through back in the day.
Love God. It balances everything. Love yourself, love others as you love yourself not more than yourself; you cannot give what you do not have. Being in love the right way kinds of align things right for you. There is a whole new set of confidence that comes with love. God is love.
I am still learning. I am still in my journey forward.